


Fragile

by orphan_account



Series: Ereri Week 2015 [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Captivity, Day 4: Fireflies, Distorted Sense of Time, Ereri Week, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Instability, Mildly Dubious Consent, Psychological Trauma, Unreliable Narration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:44:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4070563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 4: Fireflies || They sat in the back of a car, driving in the night, fireflies dancing in the fields outside the window. Eren didn’t remember them being so bright.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fragile

**Author's Note:**

> This work contains some disturbing themes; please read at your own discretion.

He doesn’t remember much before the cage. Sometimes he thinks he can remember the feeling of sun on his skin, of summer fields filled with flowers, of warm hugs and gentle kisses to the cheek. Sometimes he remembers brown hair like his own, a warm smile, and the touch of a hand.

The only thing he remembers clearly is the year before he was locked away, the summer nights filled with the cries of cicadas and fireflies. How a hand would be holding his own, so much larger than his, delicate and slim, guiding him along through the fields. Eren would be holding a glass jar, the lid punctured with holes and empty.

“Careful now, don’t crush them. They’re so fragile, Eren. You need to treat them kindly.” The soft voice was warning, but filled with love. A lesson Eren never forgot. Even as his hands closed around the glowing insects, cupping them to the opening of the jar that those large, thin hands were holding for him. Together, they would fill the jar, and then they’d sit by the river and watch the night with their little lantern glowing in the dark.

“It’s time to go home, Eren. Set the fireflies free.”

He’s dragged from his memories by the sound of a key rattling in the lock. It was time to eat, each meal as unremarkable as the one before. Eren didn’t know what he was eating anymore, and he didn’t care. They could be feeding him human flesh for all he knew. They probably were.

“You’re getting a new friend today,” the guard said, to which Eren shrugged. People came, and went, and it didn’t make a difference. Eren wasn’t leaving, ever. He knew that.

Two more meals were delivered before the haggard, shackled form was dragged into the basement, tossed into the same cage where Eren was being kept. He didn’t know why they bothered, as if it would make Eren _happy_ to have company, but he thought that his keepers got a sick pleasure from it.

After all, if they killed Eren, they got a free pass out. Each of them were told this before they got put in with him.

“Have fun, boys,” the guard said, leaving the single plate in the cell before leaving, the room growing dark as the man left.

The man didn’t wake for the rest of the night. Whether it was from exhaustion, pain, drugs, or a combination of those, Eren didn’t know. But he put a blanket over the body, a pillow under his head, and leaned against the bars, watching the moon through the window. It was only a sliver in the sky, barely enough light for Eren to make out details.

The sun didn’t reach through the window. He could see a patch of blue, a patch that sometimes changed colour depending on the weather and time of day, but he forgot what the sun looked like. If it was really blinding, like he had heard some of the other prisoners speak of. If it was warm like the blanket he had draped over the unconscious man. If it really could burn flesh.

“Are they really on fire?” Eren heard himself asking, his voice high and thin, childish and innocent. A smile, wrinkles around the edges and a single dimple, showing amusement at the question.

“I don’t know, Eren. Does the jar feel hot?”

“No! It’s normal!”

“It’s time to head home, baby. Let the fireflies go.”

“But I want to keep them, they’re pretty!”

A groan from the unconscious form had Eren blinking his eyes open, the window having shifted to a light, hazy pink. Eren didn’t move, not wanting to aggravate the sleeping form in case he decided to see if he could just off Eren quickly and get himself out of here. Eren wondered if they really would let him go if Eren died. He was tempted to ask one day.

“What the fuck,” the figure groaned, sitting up and rubbing at his head. He paused as the blanket slid off of him, his fingers rubbing the fabric before he looked around, confused until his eyes fell on Eren’s still form against the cell bars.

“Who the fuck are you?” he asked, his voice sharp, edged in steel. Eren didn’t answer, and the man sighed, running his hand through his hair again. He grimaced, pulling it away as rust-coloured flakes fluttered to the ground. “Gross. I feel like shit.”

“Eren.” The man looked up, and Eren repeated his name. His voice was hoarse, not having spoken to anyone in months. It felt weird to twist his lips and tongue into words, hurt his voice box to speak aloud again.

“What is this place?” he asked, and Eren shrugged. He’d been wondering that since he first woke up here, and as the years passed he stopped caring. What did it matter, he was _here_ , and he wasn’t going anywhere for a long time.

“It’s not nice to keep them, Eren. This is the fireflies’ home, you got to play with them, but it’s time for everyone to go home, even the fireflies.”

“But I want to keep them!” Eren shouted, crying. The woman kneeled in front of him, eyes so much like his own staring at him kindly.

“That would make the fireflies sad. No one deserves to live in a jar, not even bugs.”

“Hey, are you okay?” the man was asking, much closer to Eren than he was seconds ago. Eren blinked, leaning back, but the bars were still behind him, and he didn’t make much progress. “You spaced out for almost an hour, at least.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“How long have you been down here?” the man asked, his tone holding more caution, as if Eren were a dangerous animal, fragile and ready to break.

“Don’t know.”

“Why did they take us?”

“Don’t know.”

“Where even are we?”

“Don’t know.”

That’s all Eren would answer, and soon the guard brought another meal. It was a single plate, which Eren pushed towards the man. He looked at Eren, confused.

“You need your strength.”

“What are you going to eat?”

“Don’t know.”

The man ate half the plate, leaving the other half for Eren. None of the other prisoners before him had done that, greedily fighting Eren for the food, even though it was freely offered by Eren himself.

“I’m Levi,” the man offered, and Eren shrugged.

“Doesn’t matter. You’re just another person. Everyone’s just another person.”

“Why doesn’t he look like us?” Eren asked, pointing at a blond boy in the park. The sun was almost setting, the fireflies starting to come out and dance among the flowers. The hand gripping his tightened in warning, and Eren dropped his finger.

“Because he does. Not everyone looks alike. We look different, don’t we? And we look different than … too,” she said. “Everyone’s unique.”

“But the fireflies all look the same, why don’t people?”

“You’re doing it again,” the man said, and Eren’s eyes came into focus.

“It’s been a week, when are they going to come down and make their demands?” Levi asked, and Eren snorted.

“They’re not coming. Your only pass out of here is through me. Didn’t they tell you that?” Eren asked, and Levi furrowed his brow.

“In different words, but I was thinking they meant metaphorically. How are you supposed to be my key out of here?”

“You kill me, you get out. Simple.”

“Do you want to die?”

“Careful now, don’t crush them. They’re so fragile, Eren. You need to treat them kindly.” Eren’s hand closed around the glowing insect, but he wasn’t careful enough. He could hear the sound of the delicate body crunching beneath his hand, the hand grasping his own twisting in pain as red flowed from the broken skin. He screamed, crying, as the thin, delicate hand broke off into his own, the red spreading as he clenched tighter in his fear.

“Eren!” a hand grasped his chin, and he opened his eyes wide, flickering in terror before settling down into the apathetic gaze. Levi was almost straddling him, a hand clenching his shoulder while the other held his chin.

“You had a nightmare, just breathe. You’re awake.”

Eren nodded, the blankets shifting around them. They had started sharing three weeks into Levi’s stay, the man saying it was unfair for him to take Eren’s only blanket and pillow. It also kept both of them warmer, sharing body heat. Eren’s nightmares kept waking the man up though.

“What will happen if I don’t kill you? What will happen to us?”

“Don’t know.” Eren said, his arms wrapped around Levi. The cells were getting colder, the sky showing streaks of white as snow fell from the sky. Levi had told him it was snow, and that’s why it got cold. Eren always was warm, and Levi got cold easily. They huddled under the blanket, trying to stave the chill away.

Time was distorted for Eren. Levi had been the one to last the longest with him. The guard looked almost disappointed every time he came and saw that both were alive and well, if not weary and thinning, the chill and lack of proper food draining on both of them. Eren apologized once, to Levi’s disgust.

“He doesn’t deserve your apologies. You didn’t do anything worth apologizing to that fucker.” Levi didn’t care for the guard, but Eren didn’t know how to explain that since he first woke up here, that guard had been his only human contact. If he didn’t know better, he’d think the guard was the only person in the entire building. But he knew that was a lie.

“Eren, you didn’t listen to me,” she said, disappointment in her voice. His hands were clutching the jar of fireflies, guilt burning in his chest as brightly as the little jar.

“I wanted to keep them though. I like them.”

“Give me the jar, Eren. I’m telling your father about this when he gets home.”

The house was burning. It looked nothing like the fireflies. Why were they called fireflies if they weren’t really made of fire?

“What happened to you? You don’t even care that you’ve been left here to rot, alone,” Levi said, propping his head on his hands as he looked at Eren through his lashes. The blanket was beneath them, the weather warm once more outside. Eren wondered if the fireflies would be out soon, and he asked Levi this. He didn’t talk much still, not seeing the point, but Levi was still here, the longest someone has been here, and he wondered how long they would be here together.

“It’s still spring, they’ll start coming out in the summer.”

“What’s the difference?” Eren asked, and he didn’t understand the grief in Levi’s eyes as he leaned over, pressing his lips to Eren’s. Levi did this a lot, touching Eren with his mouth and hands. Sometimes his body did strange things, parts of him growing hard and sensitive that normally didn’t. But when that happened, Levi would pull away, and say that it was okay. He didn’t get why Levi stopped, it felt good… sometimes.

It felt good to _feel_ something. A heat in his body that wasn’t unlike fire.

The fire hurt his hands, even as he grasped the broken, fragile hand that so often had held his own. The hand crunched between his, fragile bones shattering in his desperation to pull her free from the burning wood covering her body. But the only thing that came free was her hand, red spilling into the space where they had once been connected. Eren screamed, his voice breaking. He backed up, knocking the jar to the floor, the fireflies escaping and filling the room.

“Eren! It’s just a dream!” Levi shouted, his hands grasping Eren’s face as he held him down with his weight, tears blurring his eyes.

“It’s my fault,” Eren gasped. “I didn’t set them free and I did this. It’s my fault!”

“What’s your fault, Eren?” Levi asked, by now used to Eren’s disjointed conversations and lapses into silence. Eren was talking more, trying to return the favour that the other man offered in the form of words and stories of life outside these prison walls.

“I was supposed to let the fireflies go. But I hid them in my shirt and Mom found them. It’s my fault. She’s dead because of me!”

Levi’s look fell into that strange, grief-filled state that often happened when talking to Eren. He pressed his body against Eren’s, kissing him gently and running a hand down his back, resting at the dip right above his rear.

“I’m not going to lie, that makes no sense. But, I also understand that you’ve been down here long enough to think it over, to make a connection, to find a reason that it does make sense to you. But Eren, keeping the fireflies doesn’t make you a killer.”

Eren shook his head, tears trailing down his cheeks.

“She said to set them free, and I kept them. So I’m being kept here, because I was bad. I’m bad, Levi. Bad, bad, bad…” His breath hitched, not unlike how it did when Levi’s hand caressed his skin, grasping his penis when it grew stiff. But that felt so good. And this, this made Eren feel bad.

He preferred Levi’s touch.

It was humid in the cells. Levi said it was summer, and Eren knew that meant the fireflies were out. The sound of a key in the lock had them glancing towards the cell door automatically, but Eren felt his mind shutting down in shock as the person stepping through the door was not the guard. No, this person was different. So different. Short, blond hair was replaced with long, tied back brown, and instead of blue eyes set into deep, chiseled features, brown eyes hidden behind thick glasses looked at them in relieved glee.

“Oh god, I thought I’d never find you!”

“Hanji?!” Levi was sitting up, more alert than Eren had seen him since those first few weeks. Levi knew this person. Levi was going to be free. “How—”

“We followed your trail. It wasn’t easy, and that’s why it took so long. But everything’s under control. Let’s get you out of here, god knows you two could use a change of scenery.”

Eren pressed his back against the wall, his hands covering his face as he blocked them out.

“Eren, come on. Let’s go. We’re free. You don’t need to stay here.”

“I can’t go. Can’t. No, no no no no,” Eren muttered, covering his head with his arms.

“What’s wrong?” he heard Hanji ask, and Levi’s voice was soft, understanding as he replied.

“He’s been down here a long time, alone. Freedom was never an option for him. Give him time to adjust. Do we have time?”

“All the time in the world, sweetie. There’s no rush.”

Eren cried as his mother twisted the lid off the jar, watching as the little glowing insects escaped, flying away to rejoin the others already dancing in the moonlight. His mother held his hand.

“They’ll be here tomorrow, and the day after. We can come back and see them, Eren.”

“I wanted to keep them,” Eren cried, his child-like mind unable to understand the concept his mother was trying to teach him.

“Nothing deserves to be kept in a glass jar forever, Eren. Everyone deserves to be free.”

“Let’s go, Eren. I’ll show you the fireflies,” Levi said, and Eren looked at that hand, at that grief-filled face, at the calm expression of the person behind him, at the open cell door, and steeled his nerves. He slipped his hand into Levi’s, and refused to let go even as more people crowded around them, cheering and hugging Levi. Some of them hugged Eren, which scared him, but Levi’s hand encasing his own kept him grounded, kept him calm.

They sat in the back of a car, driving in the night, fireflies dancing in the fields outside the window. Eren didn’t remember them being so bright. He told Levi that, and he felt Levi squeeze his hand.

“Reality is much brighter in person.”


End file.
